Renewal - ABS Carnival Blog Post


I never thought I would use a power point slide that I have prepared for work here on my blog.

The one that I will use for this ABS Carnival post shows the change curve. This model was developed in the 1960s and it explains how people go through a grieving process and how we manage change in our lives. You cannot jump over a phase, you have to go through all of them – there are no short cuts. You can get stuck in the phases, and they can take longer or shorter depending how you manage change.

The concept explains that people are comfortable with situations they know, and if a drastic change occurs we tend to react shocked, though shortlived, in the beginning. We face a loss of productivity, and individuals that are usually strong and decisive seek direction and reassurance. We are afraid of the unknown. After this we tend to deny the situation, we focus on staying in the past – “everything is fine and we will get through somehow” or “ this is not really happening” or “this won’t affect me that bad”.
Anger and (re-) design represent the next stage. In this phase the change starts to become reality and we often look for a scapegoat. Lowest morale, anxiety and frustration are followed by isolation and apathy. We tend to focus on small issues and just keep going to mentally and emotionally survive.
At the end of the valley of tears, we start to feel more positive and enthusiastic as we start to find our new place in the new world. The change has been survived and new opportunities lie ahead. Acceptance, hope and trust are common feelings.
It depends on our general stability and experience with past changes how long we stay in each of the phases of the change curve.

I had to think about change a lot in the past two years. Basically in the past 10 years I was a real jet set business woman, never staying in the same location for more than 10 days. I lived at least half my life in the US, and I was not even impacted by 6 hours time changes anymore. Flights in business class with champagne, good red wine, movies and excellent food became more common than the frozen pizza at home.

Then I got pregnant and was waiting for the arrival of my pretty baby. While I was planning to continue my life in the same job, the grey suited guys from my company decided differently. They believed they knew better what I needed (“why don’t you stay at home and be happy that you will have a baby?”). So I got demoted, reporting to a guy that was put into my former role, that has no experience in my former position whatsoever.
Having Amelia made me think about what life really is about. And that we work to afford a life. And that we should do things we enjoy. So besides of my part time job and my baby, I decided to put my long lasting beading hobby into some more solid frames, and decided to open my own etsy store. It took a long time, but I am pleased to announce the opening of my etsy jewelry shop today. Go visit me here – www.etsy.com/shop/nickisreef - have a look at the few goodies I have in there (promise there will be more soon) and show me some love and treat yourself with a piece of handmade jewelry. I do not know where my etsy journey will take me, but for now I know it is part of my change process and it is definitely on the upturn side of things.

The change curve and the word renewal made me think about a caterpillar, preparing to make a cocoon. The caterpillar does not really know what will happen, not does he know he will be a butterfly at the end (or maybe a moth :) ). But he knows that change is happening. And if we believe in the fact that there are better days in front of us, we can have trust and be calm, because we know one day we will have wings to fly.

If you need wings to fly – go over to my etsy store and grab this "Silk caterpillar cocoon" necklace.

27 Response to "Renewal - ABS Carnival Blog Post"

  1. steufel Says:

    Nicki, das ist ein fantastisches Posting! Danke!

  2. Copper Diem Says:

    Very excited about your shop! Congrats!

  3. Malin de Koning Says:

    Oh Nicki! I am so absolutely moved by this post. What a journey you have been on. And so nicely described. But what really attracted me firstly, I have to admit, was that picture of the curve.

    And since elections are coming up in a couple of weeks here in Sweden, I hereby announce that I am voting for more graphs, diagrams and piecharts in the bead blogging world!

    I also opened my Etsy shop very recently. Exciting! Your catterpillar necklace is super nice.

    All my best

  4. Pretty Things Says:

    First, yay to your shop!

    Second, that post is spot on about grief and how we deal with things. Grief can come in so many different forms, and over so many different things.

  5. Malin de Koning Says:

    Hi again, just want to tell you I read this post one more time just now. It is so very good! And I mentioned it to my friend when we where discussing before. She is going through a second education in her life right now. Becoming a Gestalt Therapist. So we talk a lot about these kind of things. Change processes and how we deal with them are so interesting. I realize I myself fit perfectly in your graph and desription during the dealing with my MS diagnosis that I got a couple of years ago. I believe the movement goes around kind of a in a curve also. So we go through the same phases several times, but at different depth. First I went throug all phases within a couple of days, very intense. And then again over a couple of years. I certainly have spent a lot of time thinking "this is not so bad" and such things. But hey, now I know it IS actually bad and not something easily handled. Took me a long time to admit that ... Don't know where I am right now in the process. Anger and dissappointment maybe. Unfair, it doesn't fit with who I really am. I am an active personality. Now I can't be ... It sucks! Yes that is where I stand right now! "It sucks big time".

    But Hey I wouldn't be involved with the beading community if I had continued my earlier life. It is thanks to MS I started beading. And I wouldn't get to read what an intelligent woman in Germany has to say about change, would I.

    Again, good luck with your Etsy shop. Doing what you enjoy IS really the best! It is all an exiting journey, and it is also nice to not always know exactly where you are heading. To let things develop organically as they appears.

    All my best

  6. rosebud101 Says:

    I just added your store to my favs! The jewelry is gorgeous! I love it all! Congratulations!

  7. Cindy Says:

    Nicki, CONGRATS on opening your brand new Etsy shop! The perfect step forward in promoting and focusing on your business. I'll visit and be sure to mark it as a favorite!
    I enjoyed this post...it was so well written and informative. I agree with Malin..and it deserves to be read twice! It gives us a glimpse in to your former business world too. :-)

  8. Patty Says:

    Nicki, congratulations on your new baby *and* your new Etsy shop! You seem well equipped to handle the curves that life has thrown you, and I've no doubt you'll come out on top, no matter what you do.

    I enjoyed feeling a bit of synergy between your post and Holly's, the part about how when confronted with change we retreat to the familiar. It's also interesting that sometimes (but not always) my own approach to renewing myself involves new experiences - quite the opposite. Humans are such perplexing creatures, aren't we?

  9. Raida Disbrow Says:

    Congratulations on your new shop! I enjoyed your post very much, and know first hand the sacrafice we make for our children and family. I have found they have always taken me to a better place.

  10. Cindy Gimbrone Says:

    Hi Nicki,

    Wow - I'm shocked over the discrimination you experienced simply by becoming pregnant! Ugh! That was awful! You didn't deserve that! I am glad you've joined us in the beadmaking/jewelry making world. Your interpretation into jewelry of your experience is fabulous! Thanks for sharing your powerpoint - it's a perfect fit for the monthly theme!

    Cindy

  11. Michelle Mach Says:

    Congratulations on your new store and new life!

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